Lord, why can I so clearly see You in my past, but not trust You with my future?
I’m constantly losing sight of You in the storm. You’ve walked before me while life surprises me, but You have not been caught unaware. You are patient and loving when I demand more proof, more blessings, more of everything...except more of You. I claim to need those things to know that You are for me. I bargain with You, blaming myself, creating misery on You and Your refusal to perform miracles when I demand them.
Have You not always seen me safely out of the circumstances I would sit and let myself rot in? My heart cries YES, of course the Lord, MY God has! But my mind works only on remembering where I failed and faltered, allowing the enemy to twist it--to make it look like Your doing, Your punishment, Your absence.
You are steadfast in my heart Jesus, but my mind wanders into the enemy’s camp too often. Help me to turn my thoughts to You when the enemy would have me focus on myself. Help my mind to know what my heart is sure of: You are with me.
Help me to quiet my mind and think on You with my heart first, allowing your peace to flow through me, calming my spirit and healing my soul. For that is where you live, and where I learn. Claim my mind as you have claimed my heart--not with a thought, but with a feeling, a feeling of peace my mind needs. Feeling the healing my body needs. Feeling the saving grace my soul needs. Feeling You near me through all of life’s ups and all of life’s downs, because it is only when I cannot save myself that I remember Your promise.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:19