Game. Set. Match.
Why was I so stupid?
I was not laser focused.
My mind was not laser focused on the right thing.
I didn’t think of Jesus first. I did not react with love.
That punk, satan, tempted and I reacted.
Stupid beyond stupid.
What happens now?
Crawl into a hole and cry?
(Crawl into a hole, no.)
Ask for forgiveness and bow my head?
Yes. I get back the laser focus. I ask for forgiveness. I ask for help. I crawl to God.
God knew what I was about to do and without knowing why, He prompted my friend to be praying for me.
I had no idea that my safety net was already in place.
The safety net was ready for my fall. God wants me to be a better person.
He wants me to throw my arms in the air and cry out to hear Him say He still loves me.
Stupid decisions and all.
He loves me.
No excuses. I take responsibility and know the warning signs so I can be prepared next time.
One day it won’t be so difficult.
Until then, I trust in His word. I trust in His love. I trust in His promise. I trust.
The desire of my heart is to be like Jesus.
As a human, I can strive to be better.
As a woman, I can recognize the strength He gives me.
As a child of God, I can know the Father loves me even when I’m stupid.
This life is not for the faint of heart. I will not buckle my knees except to pray.
My focus will be clearer and I will immerse myself in the Bible.
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)
So, I will pray for that desire over and over. And then again and again.
It will be God’s game, set, match.